Back?
Hi guys!! Again. This is the SECOND ENTRY OF MY DIARY!!! Hooray! I don't know if I'll be writing here everyday, but I'll think about it once in a while. So...probably. I'll keep on adding the button to every one of my diary pages—cause why not?! BTW, the song that plays is one that's been in my mind ALL day. It's "L'idole Des Connes." I'm still in the progress of learning French, German and my own language though... so no, I don't know what any of it means. LOL (I wasn't born in my home country, so I'm not very fluent but I do understand a few words.)
So how were you guys? I have some thoughts that I've been wanting to keep to myself, but the urge to talk about it is just TOO much. So instead of exposing myself, I'll push it all onto this website. To start off, have any of you guys ever felt selfish? Paranoid? I'd be concerned if you haven't because that'd mean you've never felt anything like it once in your life. Isn't that abnormal? Anyway—the thing that's been bothering me...I don't know if I'm horrible for this but I've never felt like I was being true to myself or others. I'll always think to hide something. Whatever version people have of me is false. I'll hide something I've been working on. I'll hide that I'm bettering myself. I'll hide that I'm trying something new. Why? Because you'll try to copy me. Because you'll try to be better than me. Because you'll try to compete with me. Obviously these are all "mights" because I don't know anyone's ulterior motive—but that just gives me many more reasons to hide. Why should I tell you these things? Why am I telling you these things? What are your intentions with me? What do you think of me? What version of me is inside your head right now?? I don't know, but it unnerves me. I feel like once I tell someone something, they are going to try and ruin everything. Like my mother says, "Be vigilant," which isn't typically said for these kind of situations, but I've learned to keep being humble. It's for my own good.